May 2026-Subtle Idols - Approval

One of the most captivating autobiographies that I’ve read in recent years is that of the late Matthew Perry. He was adored by millions of people across the globe for his role in one of the most beloved sitcom of the past 30 years called Friends. He brought his own unique sense of warmth and humour to his much loved character Chandler. 

Once the dust had settled on his death I remember hearing someone remark that Chandler was the person Matthew Perry truly wanted to be in real life but wasn’t. His autobiography doesn’t just reveal a man who ‘had his demons’ but reveals a soul that struggled deeply with the need for approval. He said this in an interview about performing in front of a live audience;

 “I felt like I was going to die if the live audience didn't laugh, and it's not healthy for sure…if I didn't get the laugh I was supposed to get, I would freak out. I felt that every single night. This pressure left me in a bad place."

Few of us will experience the pressure and expectation that comes with the spotlight like Perry did. However, I imagine the articulation of his experience is deeply relatable in many smaller ways. That social media post that no-one ‘likes’. That piece of work that you grafted on and yet no-one saw in the office. That new outfit that no-one commented on. That way you served at church that no-one noticed. I find these cravings deceptively lurking in my heart all the time. My heart is not short of justifying excuses. However, when I face the reality those cravings for self-glory are both deceptively ugly and a thief of my joy. When your distill it down its all a question of who’s praise really matters to us.

I find the heart on sleeve words of the apostle Paul in Philippians 3 both insightful and liberating. Paul’s life is a trophy to the transforming power of the grace of Christ.

When Living for Praise becomes Bondage 

Paul’s religious CV and his former manner of life is mightily impressive as the poster boy of Judaism. If you were a Jewish mother, here’s the man you dream that your daughter begins to court. Moreover, he must be assuming the LORD’s favour. His impeccable credentials would have led him to believe that he had a sparkling future ahead of him in the religious world. He describes himself elsewhere as advancing beyond many of his peers (Galatians 1:14). 

However, it’s a CV brimming with self-confidence. The problem with a heart that is pre-occupied with self-confidence is that it always want more. There’s always more praise to be sought, opinions to win over and mountains to be conquered. It’s an exhausting and debilitating way to live. Moreover, it’s a offence to a holy God who promises to cast down the proud. 

When Living from Sonship becomes Freedom

Of course Paul is outlining his religious credentials in the context of outlining how much grace has triumphed in his life. Here’s a man set on outlining his best for the purpose of showing us his worst. That certainly runs contrary to the Roman mindset that’s pulsing through the streets of Philippi. It is wonderfully intriguing. That former life was garbage. A written confession like that is the product of a heart completely secure in the love and work of Christ. There is a greater and more satisfying story to be embraced. In the words of Matthew Roberts;

‘Those who abandon their idols, and the false identities they give, in favour of worshipping the Triune God in Christ, discover an identity infinitely more satisfying – because it is their true identity.’

In a world that encourages us to live for something, the liberating message of the gospel is that grace allows us live from something.

The believer was both outed at the cross as a sinful rebel without a cause and pursued at the cross as one chosen in eternity past whose name was written in the lamb’s book of life. The verdict is in. His love for us is certain and unfailing. His knowledge of us is perfect. His heart for us is steadfast. Ultimately, His is the only praise that matters and it is more than enough to satisfy our weary and restless souls for all that is ahead. There’s true liberty to be found in living out of our sonship in Christ. 

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 1 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-67253920

 2 Pride, Matthew Roberts.